Fasting FACEBOOK!!!!

Posted by Doreen | 10:52 AM | 0 comments »

HAHAHAHA............ I guess you must be laughing when you read this. "CAN DOREEN FAST FACEBOOK?"
The answer is: I CAN!!
This is the third day already and I still havent open it. Haha, a feling of triumph! I decided to fast facebook because I felt it is taking lots of my time. I am so full of facebook yet I am starving to death spiritually. One night when I was doing my usual devotion, I was nudge by the holy spirit asking me how I was feeling. At that time, I actually was feeling hungry physically so I told HS that I was feeling hungry. And He asked me back. "Spiritually?" I was convicted at that instance and I was repenting and evaluating what is taking up my time. And I realised I am so hooked on Facebook. I woiuld wake up early in the morning and the first thing I think of is RESTAURANT CITY, PET SOCIETY, FARMVILE AND LOTS MORE. I find it so irony as 4 months before, I refused to sign up for facebook but then I did in July I think, then the life of addiction begins. I wasn't using it to communicate and get connected to my friends but I was using it more for fun and my own selfish desire. Hence, the decision to straightaway fast from it. That is how the decision came about.
This is the third day already, although lots of my friends around me are using it all the time, I have come to a point that I can turn my head and say it is ok, I don't need it! I post a note and stuck it on my computer screen listing down the things I can do without playing Facebook. And the list can go on and on and I realised that there are lots more things to do rather than spending time playing something that does not benefit me at all.

Actually somebody asked me this question that actually make me think a lot about it.
"Wah, you level up so fast one. I start playing first but now you are in a higher level compare to me. You play all the time ar?"
Yup, that was when I start to realise I have been spending too much time on facebook. Life is more than that and I am learning to not let these things stop me and drain me from running the real race.

Life in UM

Posted by Doreen | 11:01 AM | 0 comments »

=) It is HECTIC!!! It has been long time ever since I blog here. Blogging doesn't seemed so fun since all of us are force to blog about our learning for a few subject. Hence the explanation of extra few blogs that I had. All those are for academic purpose but only this one is more personal.
Sitting here in a quite boring class, I just saw my old blog and decided to blog. I felt this semester I changed a lot. I've changed to be more selfish although my testimony is to be the opposite. The new environment and new semester caught up with me and I gre tired and weary very often. I am stressed out most of the time. There is not a moment of rest. Because of this I became very selfish in my time. I become very protective over my time to rest. I don't want to take up extra things other than the things that I decided to take at the start of semester.
On Sunday, I went out with my childhood friend. I dreaded it because of the travelling I need to do. But I really took the effort and time [2 hours on the bus] to go to meet her. The reason is she was leaving for Australia again and it might take a while before I see her again. One thought came to mind. I would go the extra mile because I am afraid I would not see her again for a long time. What about my friends and my girls who I get to see every week? Is it just because I get to see them every week that is why I don't make the effort to meet them? I am so caught up with my own life that I don't want to be bothered about other ppl's life.
I am tired of the whole course and learning to teach itself. The amount of things to learn and do are piling high---sickening. But I know it is not the time to let go and just leave everything. I am holding on. Hanging on.
It is time to go back to work............. Assignments.........Assignments.............Assignments.............

=) Thank God again I got into this Japanese Class... Ah........!!!!!! I cannot stop praising and screaming for joy because God has been soooooo realllllllllllllllllllllll again!!!! Today, i was late for class because I could not find the classroom. When I went in the room, the lecturer gave me a stern look and even ignored me at first. I thought she was biased but I am not going to give a care about it cause I love Japanese and I want to learn and be as good as I can. I know God is working in my life. I am walking closer and closer to the vision He had given me. I know He is going to be there for me all the time... There are a lot of times where I always doubt Him but I pray I will never again do so.. Lord, I pray as I grow in Your will, please never let circumstances blind my eyes. Please Lord, keep me walking in Your will always....

God is GREAT!!!!

Posted by Doreen | 7:06 PM | 0 comments »

Now this song is how I feel about my GOD!!!

Chris Tomlin - How Great Is Our God
From the album Arriving
The splendor of the King
Clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice, all the earth rejoice

He wraps himself in light
And darkness tries to hide
And trembles at His voice,
And trembles at His voice

How great is our God
Sing with me
How great is our God
And all will see
How great, how great is our God

Age to age He stands
And time is in His hands
Beginning and the End,
Beginning and the End
The Godhead, Three in OneFather, Spirit, Son
The Lion and the Lamb, Lion and the Lamb


Name above all names
Worthy of all praise
My heart will sing how great is our God

I screamed at the top of my voice when Choo saw somebody drop the Japanese Class that I was praying for for soooooooo long. She called for me and she registered for me cause my comp is running so slow. [Hint: I need a new computer!!!] I was praying last night and asking God that if He is serious about the vision He gave me then He will provide a way for me. I was thinking to go all out and look for the lecturer in charge of the Japanese lesson to ask her to let me into her class. Cause I believe if I do not go all out in believing that God had given me the vision then how can I expect God to do miracles in my life. This is one great miracle. All the seniors told me it was impossible for me to get into this Japanese class because it is very popular but MY GOD CAN DO THE IMPOSSIBLES!!!!

=) Anyway life in uni is not bad actually. First day went by without much trouble but have to warn myself to plan well and study hard cos it is not going to be easy. First day but tasks are given and must be done by tomorrow. So no time to waste here...... But God's miracle made my day!!!!!


Posted by Doreen | 9:09 PM | 1 comments »

Had been a long time since I blog. Just dont feel like doing it I guess. Holidays is coming to an end. Just 2 weeks. Haiz... To be honest, was very selfish during this holidays. Either i stayed at home to watch videos or series if not I would go out for movies. I watched quite a few in just 2 weeks. (am gonna suffer the consequences which is a great hole in the pocket right now)

Contain Spoilers... Read it at your own risk.........

1) Wolverine- Watched it together with Jong bcos we cant get tickets to watch Night at the museum 2. Was ok since it was action-packed plus a bit emotional. Was glad to see Daniel Henny in the movie(He is a ABK- American-Born- Korean) very HANDSOME.- still think he is even though he was one of the bad guy in the movie. Dont like the ending tho... Wolverine got shot and forgot his lover....Sob.... sad..... 

2) Terminator Salvation- Watched this with Rina. Very nice since it is action-packed too. Arnold swazz... Ah whatever his name is appeared only for awhile and I found it funny when he came out as one of the machine and he was totally naked.. But due to the strict rules of our Malaysian censorship board i think it was cut.
Rina and me had a great dinner together at gasoline at times square. the most important thing is we got to chat for quite awhile over dinner and I got to know this friend of mine better.

3) 17 again- Dont boo me for watching this movie... I watched it with my NS friend LV bcos there wasnt any movie that was at the time we wanted. So yup, it was kinda stupid at times and very funny. But it had a great lesson- Dont whine over the decisions that had been made in the past and never blame others for the mistakes you had done. Treasure the ppl around you. Good for fathers to watch this. Talks about not neglecting the family too.

4) Night at the museum 2- was kinda disappointed watching this. Watched the first one and was expecting much but turns out it was kinda ok only.

5) Fighting- actually wanted to watch monster vs alien-3D one but was too expensive and dont really felt like spending money watching cartoons so went and watch this. Thought it was a great action- packed movie but was disappointed too as it wast interesting at all.

So altogether watched quite a few movies and cant wait for transformers 2 and G.I. Joe. Really loved action-packed movies... =)


Posted by Doreen | 1:31 PM | 1 comments »

This is a special number... There is a reason for it... It signifies the duration for things to happen. =) I am so excited... [if u are sooo curious to know, can come and ask me, I may tell u why is it special =)


Posted by Doreen | 12:32 PM | 0 comments »

A lot of ppl often asked what is miracles? Does it happened in your life?

My reply would be: YES!!! IT HAPPENS EVERYDAY!!! To me, driving in KL is a miracle by itself.
I dont own a car so i am used to borrowing cars from a few friends of mine[thanked God for their willingness] I am glad they are always wiling to borrow their car cause it means a lot to me and it help me to go to church and dance lessons. Since it is not my car i am driving, i always pray before i drive my friend's car. I pray that God will protect the car and me too..... I know prayer works because i nearly gotinto accidents a lot of times already but God kept me and the car safe. =)

A few days back, another miracle happen again. My friend's car that i drove broke down at the Sunway toll there. My first experience in my life. I wasnt worried whether i will get stuck there the whole night bcos i have great spiritual family members who will come and get me as soon as i call them. I am more worried about the car bcos it wasnt mine. [I know i have a thing about borrowing ppl thing and wanting to return it in a good condition.] But thanked God for the ronda ppl on the highway, they arrived in less than 5 minutes after i called them!!! WOW! They helped jump start my car. Phew!!! I got home safely. It wasnt a big problem after all but I experienced the love of my spiritual family and a God who cares for me. =)

It was great... I got a valuable lesson. The car had a lot of problem. I went to the mechanic and stuff.. So i was joking with God yesterday night on my way home driving the car.
"God, are u going to give me a car soon? That is why You are training me to know how to take care of a car? " LOL I think all the angels will be laughing at me when i said this statement. Maybe God will too? Or maybe He wont, bcos He IS planning to give me a car? (daydreaming again....)

It will be another miracle if He does... =)

A thoughtful gift!

Posted by Doreen | 9:44 AM | 1 comments »

Decided to post this up since I saw Jong(my housemate) was taking picture of another thing and I ask her to help me take a picture of this gift- personally drawn!!! One of its kind only in the whole world. =) I guess it wont mean anything to other ppl but it means a lot to me!!!!

To the pretty girl: Thanks, girl for this gift... Although I am not a person who always shows my gratitude publicly but I was very happy to receive this!!! I loved it!!! My own t-shirt... Shows me how much u care for me and believe that I can be a teacher next time!!! LOVE U LOTS!!!!

Front: I am a TEACHER!!!

the back is my name....

D ancing

O n

R egardless of

E verything

E njoying every

N ew Day!!

It made my day!
Exam Stress went away!
Believe in me you did,
To me it was such a good deed.
Happy I am,
To have such a friend like you.
haha..... spontaneous poem just for you!!!! And my friends all said they want one for themselves. But i know it is for me only right??? ( I know I shouldnt be so selfish..)

I am not a copycat!

Posted by Doreen | 9:20 AM | 0 comments »

I was given this tag by someone and when that person said that and another one agrees, inside me was like: 'WHAT THE HECK????' But i chose to forgive these ppl. I know i am not born with a silver spoon in my mouth and I always dont have the money to get the things i want. So i save long to get the things that I NEED!!! I am not copying anyone.... It is just that I dont have the money to get it when the trend is in. I choose to forgive and not to take offense by it cos i know I thanked God for giving the ability to get the things that I want. I thank God for His blessings in my life and I thank God for all the things He gave me. I dont need to strive to be cool and 'in' because I know my God knows me the best....

And apart from that I am not born to be ppl's spot light. I am born to be my own spotlight to shine for Christ! I dont like being other ppl's spotlight!!!

Sigh..... This has been going on for so long.... But this time... Eternity calls for a different action.... FORGIVE n FORGET! How can i choose to remember when God has no remembrance of mine?

Isaiah 43: 25 ' I, even I, am He who blots out your transgessions for My own sake; And I WILL NOT REMEMBER YOUR SINS.' ( =) my own emphasis)

So in conclusion.... I choose to forgive..... =) Haha... very easy to do it after I know even God does not remember my sins so who am i to take offences....


Posted by Doreen | 9:26 PM | 1 comments »

I am officially the 'carer' for three girls now..... Arlyne, Lin Saey and Bevely.....

Lin Saey on the far right and arlyne in the middle

This is Bevely.....Young and sweet...

The other two girls that I really treasure are Ruth and Andrina. Girls- I hope both of you are doing well in Germany... Really missed ya both...

The officialy duty came last saturday... It means more responsibility but I know God is training me. I hope I can be a good carer to all of you girls....

I should be in class....

Posted by Doreen | 12:56 PM | 4 comments »

Today i skipped class cos i wasnt feeling well... The whole night my stomach was hurting and i couldn't sleep at all.... So I decided to skip class today. The first time in this semester i think. These few days has been very moody for me. I lost the motivation to go for tuition anymore. Things are just not going well. I wouldn't say everything has gone wrong but just certain things. I have grown immune to these things and the negative effects. I am being plain lazy and ignorant at times. The tuition really demotivates me.
I felt like "Why am I going to be a teacher?"
I cant really teach well.
I failed teaching dance classes for children.
Now I failed teaching tuition for children.
Why am I called into this O Lord?
According to a few people, I am just not carved out to be a teacher.
People say that I am not patient enough,
some say I am not precise.
Some say I just dont have the passion.
So what do you say O Lord?
Do I even qualified to be a teacher?
The years are passing by very quickly. It is going to be the end of 4 years in teacher's training college and next would be University Malaya. Ppl still cant see the teacher in me. 4 years of training does not make any difference???
4 years of training already........... Did I improved? Am I qualified right now?

What say you?

Leaders are HUMAN anyway.....

Posted by Doreen | 6:57 PM | 1 comments »

so we need to learn how to grace them just like how they grace us......

I guess that is why I am still a young sheep and not a 'grilled lamb chop' because I have been 'graced' by my leaders.... =)

To my lovely leaders:
Don't give up. Don't be stressed
Feel down or depressed
Man I've also had those bad days
when I just wanna give up like the rest
and let me tell you somethin' yo
You know yourself best.
Stay strong. Right wrongs
That's the key to success. Let's go

So finally had the time to blog... =) So happy cos all the small tests or quizzes are finally over. I am free to blog and do what I want for a few days before other things like workshops and simulated teaching starts. The title indicates what i am going to write now... My mum came over for the weekend as you should have known from previous post, and guess what she did?

She did facial wash for 4 of my housemates plus one of my good friend who faithfully fetched me home every saturday after church service. I guess i am very proud i have a mum who is so generous and she really loves people. She did facial wash for all of them including me(DEFINATELY) for two hours straight without stopping. My housemates were all waiting in line for my PROFESSIONAL MUM to pamper their faces.

I ask them after my mum left how do they feel about my mum and they say my mum is very cool and so friendly and she doesnt seemed like a mum to them cos my mum treated them like friends.

Hence my conclusion is my mum is really a people-person, I wonder why I dont inherit this trait from her. For me I do like to mix with people but with those that I am more familiar. My mum is a super woman, if I would tell you all the stories you would be darn amazed at a woman like her.
My mum had quite a past where she was disappointed and rejected a lot of times but the strange things is if anyone who had gone through a past like her would be a very bitter person by now but the different thing with my mum is SHE HAS A GOD WHO HAD GIVEN HER ENOUGH GRACE to learn to let go of her past and trust in Him who loves her. She never let bitterness control her life and there are times where she might doubt but she never walks away from the God who has loved her and kept her through the times.

She taught me how to love and serve God and she taught me that my life is to serve this God who had loved us first. My mummy is the best... I really missed her presence here........ =)  

PS: To those who would love to get facial done, you can register with me and i will collect and see how many people and maybe will get my mum to come down to do a facial wash for you. =)  But this time will have to collect a small fee already.... LOL............ But results can be seen immediately.. No kidding one..... ELKEN product.. trustable.... [sounds like advertising for ELKEN haha...They should pay me for this ...]

My mum is coming to see me........

Posted by Doreen | 11:30 PM | 0 comments »

I just got off the phone with my mum, and YES!!!! She is coming to see me!!!! I guess all the assignments and quizzes, presentation is driving me up the walls... I missed my mum soooo much.... I just cant wait to see her...

So people i am announcing that Sunday i will be officially busy teman-ing my mum. [hmm.. more towards her teman-ing me] Sorry, i wont be entertaining anyone else then... 

So happy that i decided to blog about it.( I must be going crazy--- crazy for mum's companion) So i must now get back to my assignments so that i can finish all of it before Saturday so that I can spend the whole Sunday with her...

Haha.. I think she will be nagging me if she sees this post. But this is to show you that my mum is very lovely and very modern. She recognized Rain-the Korean Superstar when she was in Korea on a trip with her other friends but she is the only one taking pictures like this. (LOLing....) She was like :Oh!! It is Rain. The one in the TV (Rephrase of what she said cos i cannot remember every word she said) and she asked her friend to take picture for her. hahaha......... This is my mum, very special and have a great sense of humour right? That is why I loved her sooo much.....

My Pastor's/Aunty's Wedding

Posted by Doreen | 10:20 PM | 0 comments »

Last Saturday, I experienced one of the nicest and very awesome wedding out of all the weddings I had attended... I witnessed two great man and woman of God and their story of how God brought them together. I am so happy to be at the wedding. Loved the decorations and also the highlight of the whole wedding to me was the part where both of the bride and bridegroom sang a duet as the bride walked down the aisle. I think the song was written by themselves. So meaningful... I have no words to describe so i will post up the pictures for u to see for yourselves.

This is the start of the bridal procession. The little boy who is the ring bearer is sooo cute....[Funny thing is during SNL, Ps Tim make a joke and said he wanted this role but he lost because the boy was too cute....]

Fair Vows..... =)

They did the marriage registration in the church!!!

Then the another hightlight came.....*drum rolls*

=) They did it twice due to popular demand. =)

Only got the unveiling pics, the kissing one dont have cos I video-ed it down....

Awkwardness after the kisses... =)

=) Managed to grab a moment to take picture with PC... She is sooooo... beautiful.... And I love her soooo much... Her heart is even more beautiful... She is really someone that I looked up to... She is very willing to take picture with everyone although she is busy. I dont think she even get to eat through out the whole time. And the thing about her is she really loves God A LOT!!! I found out that a few days before her wedding she got into an accident and her car was badly damaged. But it does not influenced her and to her she is just thankful nobody was hurt and she goes on preparing for her wedding. Then on the wedding day, the train of her dress was long so quite a lot of people stepped on it and was feeling so sorry but she was like -it's ok. It is just a dress. [Mind you, it was designed by quite a famous wedding gown designer in Malaysia.] But to her, this all are only material things and there is no need to fuss over it. I am very impressed by the way she view material things. Cos i admit sometimes when people used out things and accidentally spoil it we will get so upset and mad at the people. It kind of shows how we looked at material things which is like it is so important. But the way PC sees it- it is only material things and it is all given and blessed by God.
All in all, I learned a lot from her and she will always have a special part in my heart. May God bless her and her marriage abundantly. =)

It feels like this post is especially dedicated to her.... =) PC/EE thank u for your love and your care... thank u for being such a great woman of God... You show me that it is not impossible to live a Godly life...

Haiz.... It is 7.30pm already...... Today is a public holiday. My housemates went out shopping in Times Square today. One of the girls bought a new handphone. I bet u can read about it soon here... So why didnt i go out when i had the chance to today?

The answer is that my friends went shopping to destress...... But for me i feel that if i go shopping with them although i might tell myself it is going to be window shopping but I guess it is going to be hard to resist the temptation of buying things. If I did, I might burst my budget for the month, then I will be more STRESS..... So I decided not to go.  =) Didnt really felt disappointed to miss the family outing this time.

But I am happy for myself cos I finished one assignment already. Not 100% yet cos I havent do the cover page and also havent print it out yet, but still I have done it!!! *One Big Pat on the shoulder* (Cannot pat too much cos i'll be too proud according to someone)

Still got other things to finish up like tutorial tasks and also preparation for next week's presentation. Haiz... It is never ending....

Easter will be coming soon.. Another dance production coming up.... Will be getting busy.. maybe stress... but I will not quit cos i have been empowered by someone on high to do what He wants. =) I just love dancing.... Wish that i can discipline myself more to do it... [Thought of joining Pilates to build my core strength. Hope i can keep up with it-Going to start in two weeks time.] I know it is going to be tough but NO PAIN NO GAIN right? 

Freedom: Is it worth it?

Posted by Doreen | 12:00 AM | | 0 comments »

Nowadays, my time is constantly occupied with assignments and tests. I am thinking of how long i havent blog. I missed blogging. But something happened today which makes me want to blog about it.

This morning, this thought kept on tugging at me.
Why are we given freedom? Why does God gives us the freedom to choose? Why? Why? Why?
Why are we given the freedom to do whatever we want? Why can i say things or do things as if it does not hurt anyone at all? Why can we sin and then we can turn around and go on with our daily lives as if we did not just do something that is wrong?

I did something wrong today..... I knew it was wrong but i did it anyway. Why? That is why i ask why God give us the freedom to choose? I chose to do wrong today oblivious to the warnings given by someone. Why?

Conclusion is: My God loves me too much to not give me the freedom to choose. He wants me to love HIm back without forcing me to. He loved me so  much that He let His son died in my place for the sins that i have. 

But that is why I always ask God: Is it worth it to love someone like me and to give me the freedom to choose?

He told me I'm worth it. I know when i sinned i make Him cry. I know He gives me lots of warnings before i even sinned but i chose to ignore it. I know that makes Him cry. When i choose to sin, sin kills me in a way that makes Him cry. Why do I always make Him cry? Can i not make Him cry?

Today lots of thoughts went through my mind. I started to doubt your will in my life. I dont like to teach. I dont like to prepare lesson plans. I dont like assignments..... But i know this is the best way and the best path that you have carefully planned for me. I cant see the end of this path but I know and I trust that You love me and You will never leave me nor forsake me. 

It is 12 midnight... I am tired.... I AM VERY STRESS......... I have done wrong today..... I am hungry....

But I know I AM LOVED BY YOU! And the freedom you give to me is worth it, cause i will use it to love You back..... Forgive me for making You cry.... I AM SORRY.... I REPENT...

Today I learnt an important lesson from God on the topic of love. Valentine is around the corner but it is not about the kind of love between a boy and girl but today's lesson is about loving people around us. Our A42 family had a house meeting yesterday. It is about the house we are going to rent next time we moved to UM. I have to admit it was not easy for me to sit through the meeting. I have to admit I am going through a period of my life that I am sick of getting hurt from the same people again and again. I guess I have lived with this family for so long that I have grown to love this family, yet there are times that we had our fair share of conflict and quarrels and silent periods. I am so tired and sick of it that I suggested to move out and stay with other ppl. [PPs I am sorry for not being honest during the meeting. I just do not want to hurt you girls. And as I reflect and ponder on the things we had said in the meeting, I have learnt to sort things out and find the core of my dissatisfaction and my disappointment.]

So today, I did lots of thinking. And during CF, the bible study topic that we did was LOVE! So i am reminded about the whole incident and the A42 family.

Is it so hard for me to love these ppl?

The answer is yes and no. Loving nice ppl who treats you nice is very easy definately but what about ppl who has their own character and personality?


God is reminding me with the verse that says love God with all your soul and your might and then love thy neighbour just like how you love yourself.  I was struck by this verse during the discussion. Have I been loving the ppl around me just like how I love myself? When I say I am sick of getting hurt, am i hurting other ppl in the process?

There is this famous quotation by someone[i dont know who] that goes like this:
Hurting people hurt people. Period. Full Stop.  Am i hurting? But today I was overwhelmed by the way God turn things around and healed my broken heart.

After the CF, my best friend ask me for 5 mins when we get back home. SHE WANTS TO TALK TO ME! ( Whenever somebody say that to another person it means something like-hey i got something i am not happy about and i want to talk about it.) So lots of thoughts went through my mind. What should I do? I bet she is going to talk about the issue we discuss last night. And on and on it goes.

I try to avoid the 5 MINS when i got back home but i know she is a stubborn girl and she wont let me go until she had given me a piece of her mind. So the 5 mins were up in a flash but the conversation went on and on and on......

But little did I know that God was healing my broken heart slowly as the conversations unfold. It was hard but I knew God wanted me to open up and let Him heal this broken heart of mine. I didnt know that i have closed up so much towards this girl who I called my best friend. I guess God is teaching me to love in a new level. The love that ppl usually talk about is very selfish but today I learnt how to love in another whole new level. It is just one part of our journey of friendship where we are stopping at the pit stop to rest and recuperate. [The conversation went wasnt like she was scolding me but we were having one of our long reflection sessions that we used to have when we were staying in the hostel. I really missed it....But SHE has promised to have more of this kind of sessions... LOL sounds like counselling sessions. It is a time where we just spend time with each other and hear each other pour out and cry....]

I didnt realise i have wrote so long... =) Haha.... Ya.. today is such a beautiful day where God had done something in this little heart of mine. I feel I can love more and this time.. I appreciate the friendship offered by my A42 family. They make me feel so loved. And the conflicts are rarely brought out of the house. Our other friends always think that our house ppl never fight and quarrel. =) I guess we do but at the end of the day we know we still loved each other.

So today have been a lovey dovey day...... I feel so loved by a God who thinks of me all the time and how He is healing my broken heart.

This year's CNY was a bit different. A lot of things seemed to be missing. Our family didn't do steam boat this time. And after i came back I realised our family didn't even take a family picture together. Haiz... Everyone is busy going for gatherings and meeting friends that we forgot the most impotant thing which was to spend time with our own family. This time i really felt like not coming back to KL. I cried the night before i came back. I don't know why but it is just very different this time. I missed my family so much. Although it was very noisy at times yet after my brothers all went back to KL and malacca, I felt that things were so quiet. I woke up early this morning at 6 am to say goodbye to my lil bro as my bus is at 12pm which at that time he will still be in school. I guess the family that i left behind will be faced with the sudden quietness that is even worse compare to how i feel. BUt i guess this is life. We cannot always be with our loved ones every single moment but we can do our best to excel in life so that they are proud of us. 

Ya.. So this CNY i met up with friends and also straigten my hair....

This is our form 5 gathering. So sad.. Only ten of us turned up. I guess it was because of the date which is the second day of CNY so everyone else is still busy visiting their relatives so they cannot come for the gathering. So to all those sixers out there-Please try to make it to our next gathering next year. It will be in Kai Feng's house. =) Already asked him and sign agreement already... Hahaha....


I met up with my little juniors/friends from my church. I also got to know a new girl called Peggy. she is the second girl from the left with specs one. She is one funny girl. And from the start of the conversation she had already said that she wants to get marry asap and other stuff which makes me laughed until i nearly fell off the chair. MInd you she is only 20 i think. I told her life is more than just marry and give birth to children but she thinks life is like that.

Next.... I went to straighten my hair...

This was before i straigten.

This is after i straighten.... =) New Year with a new look...

Then on Saturday I went bowling with my friends.... Broke a few of my nails... [A good reminder for those who wants to go for bowling is to cut your fingernails first!!!]

This two girls have grown up a lot.... One aspiring to be a biomedical engineer (i Think) the other one is to be a teacher.  Thanks to you both, I really had a good time playing bowling with you girls and thanks for sharing lives together with me. =) All the best in your studies and Eli-all the best in getting the course that you want to study....

Hahaha.... the TIME has come finally. As i am blogging now, all my housemates except my indian roomate has left to went home already.... As i am writng i kinda regret not to opt to go back by bus earlier rather than wait to travel home with my uncle. Ya.. I know ppl will say that it is better to travel by car yet the situation I am in is that i have to wait until tommorow only I would be able to see my dearest family....
*sidetrack a bit... I would like to thanked God for providing a better job (a better pay) for my eldest brother. I was too busy to blog about it so i thought i would just like to slot it in b4 i forget again. He got retrenched because he was in the company for a year plus NOT BECAUSE HE IS NOT CAPABLE!!!!!! He has the best results among us siblings and he loves and takes care of us. (SO HE DIDN'T TELL ME HE GOT RETRENCHED!!! i know it may not be a proudful thing to talked about but I guess i wasn't happy bcos it felt like i am being kept in the dark about all these things. I guess it is in the family that everyone doesn't share freeeeeely.... So Why am I the ODD one out? I don't know, i guess I am influenced by certain ppl or I just like to pour myself out not in front of the ppl but in the blog. (Though lots of research proved that it might be influenced our communication skills but BLOGGING is still a very nice way to express oneself.
Jumping to another topic... I finally met one of my National Service friend yesterday... I was very happy yet very shocked to see how she had changed. After the conversation with her I realised that life can really changed a person. Not to say it is bad but i guess life has a way of slamming the reality of life at us. The reality that things in this world is never free and how money is the first thing that comes to mind when a conversation starts and how everything is about MONEY, MONEY, MONEY! (Reminds me of the mamma mia movie.) But I just hope for the best for her and pray that she will find the right pupose for her life and live for that prupose.
Ah........ I side track and jump to other topics already..... Anyway i am really looking forward to going back home although Chinese New Year didn't seemed to be so celebrative this year. But I missed my family a lot and looked forward to meeting my high school friends too... I just pray that I will not gained too much weight.[Have to control hard]

7 days of Prayer and Fasting

Posted by Doreen | 11:42 PM | 1 comments »

This is our yearly 7 days fasting that we do to start the new year by seeking God. I missed the first day of fasting. Today is the last day.... I am very happy that God spoke to me about certain things in my life and what I should do this year. I just want to learn to put my eyes on the Lord and rely on Him just like what Ps. Tim said. This year is going to be different! I am declaring it!!!
There was a lot of things I ask for or to say that my flesh is yearning for.
1. Is to get a car cos it is very hard for me to travel around KL without a car. got dance classes, church meetings and also church service to attend. Then later part of this year need to move to Uni Malaya and transport is also another problem.
2. New computer as this computer is lagging so much.
Ya... and the list can go on and on but there was one day where I was literally crying out to God to please lessen my burden a bit and lessen my so-called sufferings. Then this poem came to mind. [PS: I am sorry i forgot where I got this poem from. I apologized to the author beforehand k]

Wait...My Child

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried.
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said, "Child, you must wait!"

"Wait?, you say, wait!" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is Your hand shortened? Or have You not heard?
By faith I have asked, and am claiming Your Word."

"My future and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance, and You tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes,' a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign."

"And Lord, You promised that if we believe
We need but to ask, as we shall receive.
And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply!"

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, "You must wait."
So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?"

He seemed then to kneel and His eyes wept with mine,
And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run.
All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want...but, you wouldn't know Me."

"You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint;
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint;
You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence were all you could see."

"You'd never experience that fullness of love
As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;
You'd know that I give and I save ... (for a start),
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart."

The flow of My comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have last."

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that 'My grace is sufficient for thee.'
Your dreams for your loved ones overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss! if I lost what I'm doing in you!"

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me
And though oft may My answers seem terribly late,
My wisest of answers is still but to wait"

["You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that 'My grace is sufficient for thee.']
This two lines just struck me. Yes, LORD if the pain just go away I will never know how muc grace You had poured in my life.

Then this song came too as I was thanking God for all He done for me.
This song is by Chris Tomlin entitled: How can I keep

There is an endless song
Echoes in my soul
I hear the music ring

And though the storms may come
I am holding on
To the rock I cling

How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing

I will lift my eyes
In the darkest night
For I know my Saviour lives

And I will walk with You
Knowing You'll see me through
And sing the songs You give

I can sing in the troubled times
Sing when I win
I can sing when I lose my step
And fall down again
I can sing 'cause You pick me up
Sing 'cause You're there
I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord
When I call to You in prayer
I can sing with my last breath
Sing for I know
That I'll sing with the angels
And the saints around the throne

Ya.. So after that I just don't really feel like complaining anymore. Life is more than just complaining. It is about how you live it.....

Is it lawful for me then?

Posted by Doreen | 11:08 PM | | 0 comments »

haha.. Deprived of blogging for quite some time so am going to post what God had spoke to me at the start of this new year.

I was reading my bible that day and I came across this verse:
1 Corinthians 10:23 All things are lawful for me but not all things are not helpful;
All things are lawful for me but all things do not edify.
I felt God spoke to me about me turning 21 last year. Lots of my friends said kind of the same thing when they heard that I turned 21. 'Let's go to pubs!' This is the most common response i get. (Imagine the things you can do.... Get marry without needing your parents' consent[i think-if i am wrong,correct me] -Go to pubs and not get caught. and much more...)

I guess as i was meditating on His words, He is trying to tell me all things may be lawful for me now as I turned 21 but not all things are helpful, neither does all things edify me. So I am reminded again of a quote by someone called Albert Camus.

So although it is lawful for me but whatever choices i make will influence my whole life. God is also saying to me that He wants to be involve in my decision-making. I guess 2008 had been a year where most of the time it was about me but 2009 will be a year where it is all about HIM and He is going to be the decision maker in my life.

I was browsing through my pictures and saw a few pictures of my cousins. This is my little cousin... Ain't he cute... He is a great poser. I remember taking lots of his pictures where he was posing like a professional model but i can't seemed to find the other pictures.

This is the sister of the lil cousin brother. My cute lil girl cousin who looks like Ella from S.H.E(a girl group from Taiwan in case u dont know) The thing is she loves to sing and dance.... May be the next Ella.( Just as long she is not too tom boyish) Very cheeky girl she is.

This is one dear grandmother that i loved a lot. I am her first girl grand-daughter so just imagine how much she pampered me since I was young. She and I have the same chinese birth date. She is seventy plus already yet she is taking care of my two little cousins. I am praying hard for her salvation.... (LOVED HER TOO MUCH TO WANT HER RECEIVE THE GIFT THAT I WAS FREELY GIVEN)


I used hours trying to figure out how i can change the blog skins.... In the end, it was all to nothing.... Kinda missed the friendster blog now cos i really loved the cool skins....
[PS: If anyone who knows how to do it please teach me how....]

But one thing about blogspot is that it is running fast...

ah... New Year.. New Blog...

Posted by Doreen | 10:16 PM | | 3 comments »

=) It is a start of a new year.... Only have time to start another new blog. Reason is I am sick of Friendster's blog.( NO offence ya to those who are still using Friendster's blog) So this is going to be the blog I am going to use from now. But if u are interested to read what i had written for the past two years, you can go this link and check it out.  

So life had gone back on track with new semester and new schedule. And new blog means new commitment.... Haiz... (more work) but i love to drop by and blog when something great or not so great is happening in my life. So this is the place where u will get to know more about me!!!