Freedom: Is it worth it?

Nowadays, my time is constantly occupied with assignments and tests. I am thinking of how long i havent blog. I missed blogging. But something happened today which makes me want to blog about it.

This morning, this thought kept on tugging at me.
Why are we given freedom? Why does God gives us the freedom to choose? Why? Why? Why?
Why are we given the freedom to do whatever we want? Why can i say things or do things as if it does not hurt anyone at all? Why can we sin and then we can turn around and go on with our daily lives as if we did not just do something that is wrong?

I did something wrong today..... I knew it was wrong but i did it anyway. Why? That is why i ask why God give us the freedom to choose? I chose to do wrong today oblivious to the warnings given by someone. Why?

Conclusion is: My God loves me too much to not give me the freedom to choose. He wants me to love HIm back without forcing me to. He loved me so  much that He let His son died in my place for the sins that i have. 

But that is why I always ask God: Is it worth it to love someone like me and to give me the freedom to choose?

He told me I'm worth it. I know when i sinned i make Him cry. I know He gives me lots of warnings before i even sinned but i chose to ignore it. I know that makes Him cry. When i choose to sin, sin kills me in a way that makes Him cry. Why do I always make Him cry? Can i not make Him cry?

Today lots of thoughts went through my mind. I started to doubt your will in my life. I dont like to teach. I dont like to prepare lesson plans. I dont like assignments..... But i know this is the best way and the best path that you have carefully planned for me. I cant see the end of this path but I know and I trust that You love me and You will never leave me nor forsake me. 

It is 12 midnight... I am tired.... I AM VERY STRESS......... I have done wrong today..... I am hungry....

But I know I AM LOVED BY YOU! And the freedom you give to me is worth it, cause i will use it to love You back..... Forgive me for making You cry.... I AM SORRY.... I REPENT...